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Guide As To Which Led Zeppelin Song To Play In Any Given Sexual Situation

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I Can't Quit You Baby For those who just can't seem to stop
You Shook Me Afterwards, if it was really good
How Many More Times (a)Going for a record
(b)Partner's name is Rosie
Dazed And Confused Lot of hemp smoking going on
Your Time Is Gonna 'Come' Heh, heh. I think this one speaks for itself
Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You One night stand
Whole Lotta Love Another good one if your into screaming along with the music
WIAWSNB Affair, adultery, or secret relationship
Lemon Song Good hand-job
Thank You Not a sex song. Better as a 'Walk down the aisle' song
Living Loving Maid Sex slave
Heartbreaker 'Dick-tease'
Bring It On Home Drunk, stumbling? Mumbling incohesively? Throw up on the bed?
Moby 'Dick' Heh, heh. Another one that speaks for itself
Ramble On Another 'Leaving' song. Use with discretion
Friends Sex with best friend
Celebration Day To be played the day after when you're with the rest of the guys
Since I've Been Loving You You aren't getting any
Out On The Tiles Bathroom or kitchen floor
Gallows Pole For those into knots and getting tied up
Tangerine Sex in the grove
That's The Way Helping along a virgin
Hats Off To (Roy) Harper Partner's father's name is Roy Harper
Black Dog If it weren't black as night, she'd be a real dog
Rock & Roll Wild, fluid on the ceiling night
Battle Of Evermore Multiple-party sex
Stairway to Heaven (a) On a staircase
(b) Partner wants radio on, but only knows one Zep song
Misty Mountain Hop At a log cabin in the mountains
Four Sticks Orgy involving four men
Going to California In the bathroom or aisle of a west-bound commercial flight
When The Levee Breaks (a)Rocking back and forth, need rhythm to set the pace
(b)On the Mississippi during a rainstorm
The Song Remains The Same Boring, monotonous, but yet, hard and fast, sex
The Rain Song Done in the rain, or in the drippings of fluid
Over The Hills And Far Away Starting off slow before you get into it
No Quarter Get it done without a breath - fast and hard, mercilessly
Dancing Days After the prom, or a night clubbing
The Crunge (a)Fast, without pause, few breaths
(b)While trying to find a bridge
The Ocean On the water, in the water, near the water
Custard Pie After a good dessert, or while eating dessert
(such as 240 dollars worth of pudding)
The Rover Going next door in twenty minutes for more of the same
In My Time Of Dying Last request
Houses Of The Holy In church
Trampled Underfoot (a)Rough and rowdy, with you on the bottom
(b)Sex in a car, under a car, with a car
Kashmir In a mountainous region disputed by Pakistan and India
In The Light In broad daylight, or in front of the kids
Down by The Seaside See 'The Ocean'
Ten Years Gone Haven't had it in a long time
Night Flight See 'Going to California' but after 7:00 PM
The Wanton Song After eating Chinese Take-Out
Boogie With Stu (a)With a guy named Stu
(b)After eating some stew
(c)In a big pot of stew
Black Country Woman With partner's sister, too
Sick Again STD
Achilles Last Stand (a)prolonged, hard, fast
(b)joining the priesthood the next day
For Your Life Forced at gunpoint
Royal Orleans Whiskers!
Nobody's Fault But Mine Failure to please your partner
Candy Store Rock In the candy shop
Hots Off To Nowhere If nothing else fits, play this, because it doesn't fit with anything
Tea For One Masturbation
In The Evening After 7:00 P.M., but before Seinfeld comes on
South Bound Saurez See 'Going to California', but plane is southbound
Fool(s) In The Rain Outside in a storm
'Hot Dog' Foot-long weiner
Carouselambra Partner seems to be pretty cool, but you just can't understand them
All My Love Romantic, soft, easy, slow
I'm Gonna Crawl All fours
Poor Tom Can't get it up
Ozone Baby With concerned environmentalist
Walter's Walk Ten minute walk to the brothel
Darlene Partner's name is Darlene
Bonzo's Montreux Uh, yeah
Wearing And Tearing Severe chaffing
Hey Hey What Can I Do Willing to please
Baby 'Come' On Home Heh, heh. More humor
Communication Breakdown, Good Times Bad Times, Immigrant Song, Tangerine, Bron-Yr-Aur, We're Gonna Groove: DO NOT USE THESE SONGS UNLESS YOU HAVE THE STAYING POWER OF AL BUNDY
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This Month in
Led Zeppelin History

March 17, 1969 - A four-song performance is filmed for TV Byen in Denmark (aired on May 19, 1969)
March 21, 1969 - Zeppelin’s debut TV appearance on "How It Is"
March 25, 1969 - Filming session for the Supershow
March xx, 1970 - The band turns down many TV offers worth large sums
March 05, 1971 - Led Zeppelin started a 12-date "Thank You" tour for British fans, appearing at the clubs from their early days and charging the same admission prices as in 1968. The first show was at Ulster Hall, Belfast, Northern Ireland where they played songs from their upcoming fourth album, including the first public performances of Black Dog, Stairway To Heaven, Going To California and Rock And Roll.
March 12, 1972 - Page and Plant rehearse some songs with the Bombay Orchestra
March 25, 1973 - Led Zeppelin finally release Houses of the Holy after production issues with the album cover
March 28, 1973 - Led Zeppelin released Houses Of The Holy in the UK. The album title was a dedication by the band to their fans who appeared at venues they dubbed "houses of the holy". Houses Of The Holy has now been certified 11 times Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for US sales in excess of 11 million copies.
March xx, 1974 - The band decide to release a double album due to the amount of left over studio material
March 29, 1975 - Led Zeppelin saw all six of their albums in the US Top 100 chart in the same week, alongside their latest album Physical Graffiti at No.1. Physical Graffiti has now been certified 16 times Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for US sales in excess of 16 million copies.
March 15, 1975 - Tickets for the Earls Court shows sellout within four hours
March xx, 1976 - Jimmy speaks with reporters mentioning the new album due out called Presence
March 31, 1976 - Presence is released
March 28, 1977 - Zeppelin arrive in Dallas, Texas to rehearse before opening the eleventh tour of the US
March xx, 1978 - Robert and John spend some time hanging around the Midlands
March 26, 1979 - Robert takes lead vocal at a Bad Company gig in Birmingham
March 04, 1980 - John Bonham makes a TV appearance on "Alright Now" with Bill Connolly
March 26, 2006 - Readers of Total Guitar magazine voted the guitar solo by Jimmy Page in Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven as the greatest guitar solo of all time. The 1971 track was voted ahead of tracks by Van Halen, Queen, Jimi Hendrix and The Eagles. On the 20th anniversary of the original release of the song, it was announced via US radio sources that the song had logged up an estimated 2,874,000 radio plays - back to back, that would run for 44 years solid.
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