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Guide As To Which Led Zeppelin Song To Play In Any Given Sexual Situation

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I Can't Quit You Baby For those who just can't seem to stop
You Shook Me Afterwards, if it was really good
How Many More Times (a)Going for a record
(b)Partner's name is Rosie
Dazed And Confused Lot of hemp smoking going on
Your Time Is Gonna 'Come' Heh, heh. I think this one speaks for itself
Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You One night stand
Whole Lotta Love Another good one if your into screaming along with the music
WIAWSNB Affair, adultery, or secret relationship
Lemon Song Good hand-job
Thank You Not a sex song. Better as a 'Walk down the aisle' song
Living Loving Maid Sex slave
Heartbreaker 'Dick-tease'
Bring It On Home Drunk, stumbling? Mumbling incohesively? Throw up on the bed?
Moby 'Dick' Heh, heh. Another one that speaks for itself
Ramble On Another 'Leaving' song. Use with discretion
Friends Sex with best friend
Celebration Day To be played the day after when you're with the rest of the guys
Since I've Been Loving You You aren't getting any
Out On The Tiles Bathroom or kitchen floor
Gallows Pole For those into knots and getting tied up
Tangerine Sex in the grove
That's The Way Helping along a virgin
Hats Off To (Roy) Harper Partner's father's name is Roy Harper
Black Dog If it weren't black as night, she'd be a real dog
Rock & Roll Wild, fluid on the ceiling night
Battle Of Evermore Multiple-party sex
Stairway to Heaven (a) On a staircase
(b) Partner wants radio on, but only knows one Zep song
Misty Mountain Hop At a log cabin in the mountains
Four Sticks Orgy involving four men
Going to California In the bathroom or aisle of a west-bound commercial flight
When The Levee Breaks (a)Rocking back and forth, need rhythm to set the pace
(b)On the Mississippi during a rainstorm
The Song Remains The Same Boring, monotonous, but yet, hard and fast, sex
The Rain Song Done in the rain, or in the drippings of fluid
Over The Hills And Far Away Starting off slow before you get into it
No Quarter Get it done without a breath - fast and hard, mercilessly
Dancing Days After the prom, or a night clubbing
The Crunge (a)Fast, without pause, few breaths
(b)While trying to find a bridge
The Ocean On the water, in the water, near the water
Custard Pie After a good dessert, or while eating dessert
(such as 240 dollars worth of pudding)
The Rover Going next door in twenty minutes for more of the same
In My Time Of Dying Last request
Houses Of The Holy In church
Trampled Underfoot (a)Rough and rowdy, with you on the bottom
(b)Sex in a car, under a car, with a car
Kashmir In a mountainous region disputed by Pakistan and India
In The Light In broad daylight, or in front of the kids
Down by The Seaside See 'The Ocean'
Ten Years Gone Haven't had it in a long time
Night Flight See 'Going to California' but after 7:00 PM
The Wanton Song After eating Chinese Take-Out
Boogie With Stu (a)With a guy named Stu
(b)After eating some stew
(c)In a big pot of stew
Black Country Woman With partner's sister, too
Sick Again STD
Achilles Last Stand (a)prolonged, hard, fast
(b)joining the priesthood the next day
For Your Life Forced at gunpoint
Royal Orleans Whiskers!
Nobody's Fault But Mine Failure to please your partner
Candy Store Rock In the candy shop
Hots Off To Nowhere If nothing else fits, play this, because it doesn't fit with anything
Tea For One Masturbation
In The Evening After 7:00 P.M., but before Seinfeld comes on
South Bound Saurez See 'Going to California', but plane is southbound
Fool(s) In The Rain Outside in a storm
'Hot Dog' Foot-long weiner
Carouselambra Partner seems to be pretty cool, but you just can't understand them
All My Love Romantic, soft, easy, slow
I'm Gonna Crawl All fours
Poor Tom Can't get it up
Ozone Baby With concerned environmentalist
Walter's Walk Ten minute walk to the brothel
Darlene Partner's name is Darlene
Bonzo's Montreux Uh, yeah
Wearing And Tearing Severe chaffing
Hey Hey What Can I Do Willing to please
Baby 'Come' On Home Heh, heh. More humor
Communication Breakdown, Good Times Bad Times, Immigrant Song, Tangerine, Bron-Yr-Aur, We're Gonna Groove: DO NOT USE THESE SONGS UNLESS YOU HAVE THE STAYING POWER OF AL BUNDY
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This Month in
Led Zeppelin History

August xx, 1968 - Page, Plant, Jones and Bonham hold their first rehearsals in Gerrard Street, London
August xx, 1968 - Page, Grant and Chris Dreja go see Robert Plant perform at a Birmingham Teachers College. Page invites Plant to his Pangbourne house and offers him the vocalist position
August xx, 1969 - Peter Grant starts enforcing the 90/10 split in favor of the band
August 31, 1969 - The third US tour ends at the Texas International Festival in Dallas
August xx, 1970 - Zeppelin earn no less than $25,000 per show
August 17, 1970 - Page completes mixing of the Led Zeppelin III in Memphis
August 19, 1971 - The seventh North American tour opens in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
August xx, 1972 - Jimmy Page purchases Plumpton Manor in Sussex
August xx, 1973 - Jimmy starts arranging ideas for the next album
August xx, 1974 - Film maker Peter Clifton has the band re-enact scenes at Shepperton Studios
August 31, 1974 - John Paul Jones appears with David Gilmour and Steve Broughton as Roy Harper’s backing band for the night
August 04, 1975 - Robert Plant and his family are seriously injured as their car veers off the road on the island of Rhodes
August 08, 1975 - Rehearsal for Zeppelin’s Eleventh North American tour postponed after Robert is involved in a serious car accident
August xx, 1976 - Arrangements are made to show the upcoming Zep film in theaters
August xx, 1976 - Jimmy Page finishes mixing the soundtrack for the movie The Song Remains The Same
August 14, 1977 - Jimmy jams with Ron Wood at a charity golf tournament for underprivileged children
August xx, 1978 - Robert plays with Dr. Feelgood and Phil Carson in Ibiza, Spain while on holiday
August 11, 1979 - Led Zeppelin perform a second show at Knebworth due to overwhelming ticket demands
August xx, 1980 - Jimmy moves into his new Windsor home, which was purchased from Michael Caine
August 14, 2009 - It Might Get Loud opened in select theatres in NY, WA & CA.
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