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Guide As To Which Led Zeppelin Song To Play In Any Given Sexual Situation

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I Can't Quit You Baby For those who just can't seem to stop
You Shook Me Afterwards, if it was really good
How Many More Times (a)Going for a record
(b)Partner's name is Rosie
Dazed And Confused Lot of hemp smoking going on
Your Time Is Gonna 'Come' Heh, heh. I think this one speaks for itself
Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You One night stand
Whole Lotta Love Another good one if your into screaming along with the music
WIAWSNB Affair, adultery, or secret relationship
Lemon Song Good hand-job
Thank You Not a sex song. Better as a 'Walk down the aisle' song
Living Loving Maid Sex slave
Heartbreaker 'Dick-tease'
Bring It On Home Drunk, stumbling? Mumbling incohesively? Throw up on the bed?
Moby 'Dick' Heh, heh. Another one that speaks for itself
Ramble On Another 'Leaving' song. Use with discretion
Friends Sex with best friend
Celebration Day To be played the day after when you're with the rest of the guys
Since I've Been Loving You You aren't getting any
Out On The Tiles Bathroom or kitchen floor
Gallows Pole For those into knots and getting tied up
Tangerine Sex in the grove
That's The Way Helping along a virgin
Hats Off To (Roy) Harper Partner's father's name is Roy Harper
Black Dog If it weren't black as night, she'd be a real dog
Rock & Roll Wild, fluid on the ceiling night
Battle Of Evermore Multiple-party sex
Stairway to Heaven (a) On a staircase
(b) Partner wants radio on, but only knows one Zep song
Misty Mountain Hop At a log cabin in the mountains
Four Sticks Orgy involving four men
Going to California In the bathroom or aisle of a west-bound commercial flight
When The Levee Breaks (a)Rocking back and forth, need rhythm to set the pace
(b)On the Mississippi during a rainstorm
The Song Remains The Same Boring, monotonous, but yet, hard and fast, sex
The Rain Song Done in the rain, or in the drippings of fluid
Over The Hills And Far Away Starting off slow before you get into it
No Quarter Get it done without a breath - fast and hard, mercilessly
Dancing Days After the prom, or a night clubbing
The Crunge (a)Fast, without pause, few breaths
(b)While trying to find a bridge
The Ocean On the water, in the water, near the water
Custard Pie After a good dessert, or while eating dessert
(such as 240 dollars worth of pudding)
The Rover Going next door in twenty minutes for more of the same
In My Time Of Dying Last request
Houses Of The Holy In church
Trampled Underfoot (a)Rough and rowdy, with you on the bottom
(b)Sex in a car, under a car, with a car
Kashmir In a mountainous region disputed by Pakistan and India
In The Light In broad daylight, or in front of the kids
Down by The Seaside See 'The Ocean'
Ten Years Gone Haven't had it in a long time
Night Flight See 'Going to California' but after 7:00 PM
The Wanton Song After eating Chinese Take-Out
Boogie With Stu (a)With a guy named Stu
(b)After eating some stew
(c)In a big pot of stew
Black Country Woman With partner's sister, too
Sick Again STD
Achilles Last Stand (a)prolonged, hard, fast
(b)joining the priesthood the next day
For Your Life Forced at gunpoint
Royal Orleans Whiskers!
Nobody's Fault But Mine Failure to please your partner
Candy Store Rock In the candy shop
Hots Off To Nowhere If nothing else fits, play this, because it doesn't fit with anything
Tea For One Masturbation
In The Evening After 7:00 P.M., but before Seinfeld comes on
South Bound Saurez See 'Going to California', but plane is southbound
Fool(s) In The Rain Outside in a storm
'Hot Dog' Foot-long weiner
Carouselambra Partner seems to be pretty cool, but you just can't understand them
All My Love Romantic, soft, easy, slow
I'm Gonna Crawl All fours
Poor Tom Can't get it up
Ozone Baby With concerned environmentalist
Walter's Walk Ten minute walk to the brothel
Darlene Partner's name is Darlene
Bonzo's Montreux Uh, yeah
Wearing And Tearing Severe chaffing
Hey Hey What Can I Do Willing to please
Baby 'Come' On Home Heh, heh. More humor
Communication Breakdown, Good Times Bad Times, Immigrant Song, Tangerine, Bron-Yr-Aur, We're Gonna Groove: DO NOT USE THESE SONGS UNLESS YOU HAVE THE STAYING POWER OF AL BUNDY
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This Month in
Led Zeppelin History


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December 16, 1968 - Zep plays Bath Pavilion for a mere £75.
December 26, 1968 - First American concert at the Coliseum in Denver, CO
December xx, 1969 - Led Zeppelin are reported to have sold 5 million dollars worth of albums in the US
December 11, 1969 - Led Zeppelin are presented gold and platinum discs for their first two albums
December xx, 1970 - The band enters Island Studios to begin work on the fourth album
December xx, 1971 - The band plays a few low-key shows back in England
December 23, 1972 - The band break for Christmas holiday after a London gig
December xx, 1973 - John Paul Jones works on studio productions for Madeline Bell
December xx, 1973 - Joe Massot films Jimmy Page’s fantasy sequence at Loch Ness
December 19, 1974 - John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page jam with Bad Company at the Rainbow Theater
December 10, 1975 - Led Zeppelin play a 45-minute show with Norman Hale at Behan’s in Jersey
December xx, 1976 - Led Zeppelin rehearses for the 1977 tour
December 25, 1976 - It’s announced that Plant and Bonham will reunite with the Band of Joy for three shows in the new year
December xx, 1977 - The band minus Robert gather to discuss Led Zeppelin’s future plans
December xx, 1978 - The new album is completed quickly at Polar Studios and mixed at Jimmy’s Plumpton Studio
December xx, 1979 - John Bonham considers joining Paul McCartney’s Wings
December 29, 1979 - The band minus Jimmy Page attend the Paul McCartney And Wings Kampuchea befefit show
December 04, 1980 - Led Zeppelin issue the following statement not to carry on as a band: "We wish it to be known, that the loss of our dear friend and the deep respect we have for his family, together with the deep sense of harmony felt by ourselves and our manager have led us to decide that we could not continue as we were."
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